Living the Pioneer Life and Loving It

• Back in Time - An Introduction
• When in Doubt, Turn it Out - Don't work to pay the electric company
• Handkerchiefs - A Blow for Health (or how I cured my sinus problems)
• Drop the Toxins, Save a Bundle - I'll have what Miss Wilder is having
• You Can Keep Your Hat On - And warm your toes, with or without Tom Jones
• No Freeloaders Here - Making everything do double duty
• Shift to Thrift - Few things are as cost-effective as your local thrift shop
• All Free - All The Time - Sumptuous entertainment free for the asking

As a 21st century pioneer picking my way through the financial and psychological mine fields of a changing world, I tend to look back more frequently on times gone by. Those times were by no means easier but, I believe, less impenetrably jumbled, quieter - yes, and maybe even saner. And, if we go back far enough, renewing of and not destructive to our environment.

Though I haven't any place in my suburban neighborhood for a flock of laying hens or a brace of mules, I've found ways to translate something of my great-grandparents' lives into my own and be the better for it.

And because it's no good to bemoan my fate for more than five minutes a day (okay, ten), I've turned this new life into a challenge - a bit like making it through Navy boot camp. The pride I feel in my rediscovered strength of will satisfies my soul. And far more satisfying is the money I'm saving.

These implemented ideas, begun several years ago and now obligatory for me, can give you some relief from high energy, grocery, and entertainment bills. Let's not go back to the future but FORWARD INTO THE PAST!

Some of our great-grandparents lived without electricity. All we're asked to do is change from old bulbs to CFLs.

If you can afford to, replace all your light bulbs with CFLs today. I've bought them at Costco and Home Depot on sale for as little as two or three dollars for six or eight bulbs. You'll help the earth and significantly lower your electric bill. If you tried them in the past, you'll be glad to know that they are much brighter now and are available for dimmable switches. If CFLs are expensive where you are, be sure to ask your energy company if they provide coupons.

Unscrew the CFLs you don't need. I had four in my bedroom ceiling fan so I unscrewed two (leaving them in the sockets for vaguely aesthetic reasons and in case I need them at some point). Not only do I save money but I'm less inclined to burst into "Everything's Coming Up Roses" whenever the klieg lights hit me.

Never tell yourself you're coming right back when you leave a room.

Assume you're not. Turn the lights off. Turn anything else unnecessary off while you're away. I use a little space heater on low for a few minutes when I hear the ice clinking in my veins. I failed to turn it off recently when I left the room and my FitBall, the best computer chair I've ever owned, rolled into it. I got back in time to prevent a complete meltdown but not in time to save the ball. I'll miss it terribly until I can afford to replace it.

One way or another, leaving things on costs money.

Turn Down Your Water Heater. Mine is on warm. I have plenty of hot water and I'm not constantly heating gallons to a ridiculous (even dangerous) temperature. I wash my hair in the sink instead of the shower when it needs it (and the rest of me doesn't). I take sponge baths in between more thorough ablutions. I fill both halves of the kitchen sink, soak my dishes, scrub them clean with a fresh wash cloth, plunge them quickly in the hot rinse water, then let them drip dry on towels on the counter. I no longer use my dishwasher at all and no one will ever convince me that it's somehow less wasteful to run a machine for 95 minutes than take ten minutes and two half-filled sinks of water to do the same load by hand.

Unplug Your Clothes Dryer. Do it! It will save you a fortune not only in electricity but in wardrobe expenses because dryers beat clothes up and the hot heat (even on so-called low settings) ensures that they will need replacing much sooner. I use two clothes drying racks, one a yard sale find for $5, the other a great big one from Lehman's (www.Lehmans.com), the Amish/Mennonite store in Ohio heaving with gadgets that save energy. The big rack is hefty enough to hold my heaviest blankets and sleeping bags. I use the latter as quilts and, under them, I'm never cold. Martha Stewart they ain't, but luckily I'm not expecting Martha or the Queen any time soon.

If you're really brave or nuts, like me, sell the dryer and make $75 or $100. The downside is that in a cold house it takes longer to dry the clothes on racks so I have to plan ahead. And more things need ironing. The upside? A noticeably lower electric bill.

Turn off computers and other appliances attached to vampire power blocks that suck energy even when nothing's on. It's bad enough that every time I get the bill down, the electric company raises their rates. Now I'm being charged for phantom electricity.

Other things I do to lower my bill.

• Put a lid on it. Cover a pot of water to speed the boiling process.
• Do what Grandma did. Prepare large amounts of food at one time. When I bring whole chickens home, I bake two together, then freeze one. Always make and bake two loaves of bread at once - see my Pebble-Topped Oatmeal Bread hub for a healthy and super-delicious oatmeal bread recipe to get you started.
• Only preheat the oven when necessary. Baked goods and roasting meats require preheating but many other foods don't.
• Fill your freezer - if only with pillows. At times like these, when I can't afford to fill the freezer as full as I'd like, I place clean folded sheets, pillows, and towels in plastic bags and then into the freezer. I've been told this allows the compressor to work less.
• Add night lights. I have colorful LED lights that make it possible for me to see safely in the dark so that I don't have to switch on overhead lighting.
• Turn off outside lights. My outside security lights are permanently turned off. They switched themselves on for every stray cat and possum and wind-blown branch and often stayed on for hours. In their place, I rely on my seventeen doberman pinschers to protect me in an emergency. Would you believe my three Navy Seal roommates? How 'bout a Cairn terrier and a feral factory kitty? (Tip to burglars: It's the cat you have to watch out for.)

I have several dozen large pocket handkerchiefs that, judging by their size, are made for hefty German farmers like my paternal grandpa. In a pinch, I think you could diaper a small baby with one. I buy them at the local Veteran's hospital when they're in stock and at Aramark or eBay or whoever gives me the best price when they're not. They are 100% cotton, easy to wash, quick to dry on a rack, and a breeze to iron. (I should admit here that I'm one of those folks who loves to iron, the perfect accompaniment to my cozy British mystery DVDS or a riveting audiobook.)

The best part of handkerchiefs, besides being good for the environment, is a tremendous secret and, for all I know, it only works for me. In the days when I used tissues,

I used to suffer terribly from sinus infections. I'd get them regularly three or four times a year and always had to resort to antibiotics. Don't tell the makers of those expensive, linty, and nonreusable nose-blowing products but since switching to cotton handkerchiefs some years ago, I haven't had a single sinus infection (maybe one or two when I first made the transition). You can't imagine how wonderful this is - or perhaps you can.

If we knew what was in the cleaning supplies we bring home, it would make us hysterical. Too many corporations have turned normal germs into the boogie man while pushing chemical compounds on us that do irreparable harm - and we get to pay for the privilege.

Do your family an enormous favor and remove the toxins under your sinks. Box them up and take them to the next poison control round-up in your city. Please don't pour them down the sink or toilet. The fiendish brew goes straight to the water treatment center and may or may not be completely filtered out. If you think this isn't important, your baby's brain, your elderly mother's lungs, and your adored pet's liver are especially at risk.

I did that a couple of years back. Now I save a ton of money and keep healthy by using salt and baking soda (for scrubbing); Dr. Bronner's Sal Suds (for cleaning dishes, clothes, cars, carpets, bathtubs - virtually any soiled surface); lemons and oranges to freshen; and vinegar to wipe away germs. I buy what I can in bulk at Costco or Smart & Final and keep lots on hand. And I'm no longer tempted to revert to dangerous poisons, no matter how cute the ads. My watchword is: If Laura Ingalls Wilder didn't need it, neither do I.

Nothing makes you warmer quicker than a hat on your head. I keep three or four knitted caps in different places around the house so I can pop one on whenever I feel chilly. Within seconds, I'm comfortable again.

Buy or knit them big enough so that you can turn up the "brim" for a jaunty look when you go outside.

Scarves are great head-warmers, too, but If they're long, be sure to tuck in the ends so they don't fall in the batter (yes, it's happened) or the toilet (that to).

When I'm really desperate (i.e., have mislaid all my hats and scarves), I use sweat pants on my head and wrap the legs around my neck. Or sweatshirts, putting them on my head upside down so that the neck hole goes on top of my head, pulled down over my forehead, and the arms act as a scarf around my neck. Unless you don't mind being viewed by your neighbors as an eccentric oddball (too late, in my case), stay away from your windows and pull the contrivance off before answering the door.

I use Grandpa's Pine Tar Soap from head to toe. It smells great (a few folks might disagree) but, even better, my hair has never looked healthier and it's tamed those fiber optic gray hairs (the ones impossible to control that curl up and stick out in the most unfortunate ways). Can't claim it will do the same for you but to me it's one of the mini-miracles I celebrate!

I also love Bronner's Peppermint Bar Soap. This one nearly everyone can agree on - the smell will transport you instantly to a calmer place. And for dry skin, my choice is Bag Balm. Okay, it's for cows but it works great and it's been around since 1899 so that's good enough for me. Personally, I think it's why cows make that nice contented mooing sound. And the tin it comes in is adorable.

More double-duty ideas:

• I save the boxes and paper wrappings that the pine tar and peppermint soap bars come in and tuck them in my drawers to dispel any possible mustiness or moths (uh, that should read bureau drawers).
• The nylon bags your onions, shallots and garlic come in make good pan scrubbers.
• Panty hose with a run in them, as Graham Haley demonstrates on PBS, are perfect for storing onions. Drop one down the leg and tie a knot above it; repeat until you've used up all the onions or filled up all the space. Hang the panty hose over two hooks on the inside of your pantry door so that the two legs are separated. This gives them air, darkness, and the inability for a bad one to contaminate the others. Each time you need an onion, just cut below the knot at the bottom of the leg.

Let's Raise a Ruckus Tonight. Great-grandma and grandpa didn't go to the gym. They got their exercise by hard and heavy chores. When it was time to relax, they made their own entertainment. Friends might come and the rug would be rolled back for dancing. Someone would play the harmonica or the fiddle. The songs and dances would be brought from German, Irish, Scottish, Jewish and many other traditions.

So, for now while money is tight, forget the exercise tapes and gym memberships. Put on your most energetic music and dance the night away, as your ancestors did. Unearth those polka records, clear a space, and roll out the barrel! Listen to Jewish Klezmer or Iranian pop. They're absolutely great not only for aerobics training but to disperse the depression blues - whether spelled with a big or little "d".

When times are difficult and money is short (and from now on even when it isn't), I shop at thrift stores. I knew a woman who always looked well dressed and I told her how much I admired her style. She said, "Everything you see me wear comes from thrift shops." "You must mean consignment shops, don't you?" I asked. "No," she said. "Thrift shops."

My much loved and delightfully eccentric Uncle Manny (as George Carlin said, quoting his Irish grandparents, "You don't lick it off the rocks") always brought us amazing things at Christmas. All were thrift store finds (or, we sometimes worried, garbage dump treasures) and we had more fun opening his gifts, 'wrapped' in grocery bags stapled shut, than anything else.

Whether you go for the bargains or to help out a charitable cause or both, shifting to thrift shops is a great idea. Things get recycled. People get helped. I went the other day, rather desperate for trousers after a pair some twenty years old gave up the ghost. I didn't have a lot to spend. What I came out with were three perfectly fitting pairs of trousers - and a book on country pine furniture. The total? $6.47! You can bet I had an attitude of gratitude when I left there. And I make sure that as I whittle down my belongings, most go right back to that same shop for someone else to enjoy.

There is a place that I'm pretty sure most of us aren't taking enough advantage of (and that included me until very recently). It's a trove of goodies, there is no cost if you follow directions, there's almost certainly one up the street from where you live, and it can offer a calm sanctuary if you plan your visiting times accordingly.

It's a public library (say God bless to Andrew Carnegie) and it offers great and good books, DVDs, video games, CDs, the use of computers, audiotapes and more. Best of all, the cost is free, Free, FREE! If you can beat this (legally), let me know.

If you're serious about saving money, read your favorite magazines while seated in a comfortable chair in the library (just avoid tiny tot story hour and whatever time the junior high school across the street lets out). Bring home CDs and dance the next three weeks away to belly dancing, reggae, hiphop, jazz, Broadway, and Chopin. (Well, dancing to Chopin might be a bit of a trick.)

For now, cancel Netflix and order Rosemary and Thyme (a British gardening mystery series), Godzilla, French noir films, depressing Swedish dramas, The Sopranos, The Keystone Cops, Shane, and Darby O'Gill and the Little People. Bring everything back on time in good condition and nary a penny changes hands.

Can't find what you want? Ask a librarian to help you with interlibrary loans. Also ask how to search for and request items online from home. I do this every week and when an item arrives at the library I've designated, I get an automated phone call letting me know it's in. Little short of miraculous.

Oh, and by the way, the next time there's a measure on the ballot to give more money to libraries, vote yes. Whatever small amount we pay in taxes for its services, the library repays us many times over.